the ghost of you



07.29.09
i saw an apparition of you today...
my heart skipped a beat, but kept close.
remember the promise i gave you?
that the spaces between your fingers
are my fingers
when all the world has fallen down...

well, my world has fallen down,
and your fingers are nowhere near mine...



home



07.28.09
it is my heart,
not the stars,
that will guide you tonight...



the face of hope




07.27.09
*entry from the exhibit on lrt*

this should have been the winner...
a painting that talks of hope...



free will



07.24.09
"the whole purpose of places like starbucks is for people with no decision making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. short, tall, dark, caf, decaf, low fat, non fat, etcetera. so people who don't know what they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95 get not only a cup of coffee, but an absolutely defining sense of self. tall... decaf... cappuccino!"
~joe fox, "you've got mail"



hollow



07.23.09
i am keeping myself empty
so that you can fill me
when we finally drown
inside a papercup...



if you can read my mind




07.22.09
i bury boredom under sheets of paper,
tuck it with the stack of folders,
mix it with paperclips and pushpins,
hide it under the desk
together with
papers for shredding...
...hoping boredom gets shredded too.


of birthdays and growing old




07.21.09
if i can hold the years
and keep them in my pocket...
i will never reach in for change.
but growing old happens
and the once innocent
is battered by time,
broken by failed promises,
bruised by the cynics
and made stronger by faith.
i am
full of faith.


happy birthday kuya luden!


one picture, one poem a day



so this is my new challenge... to take one picture a day, and somehow write something poetic about it. i seriously swear i'm getting dumber by the minute. i can't let my neurons die! i'm not certain as to how long i'll keep doing this but it's a good practice for me and my so-called writing... that and till i get a new inspiration...



07.20.09
i am trading empty bottles for a full heart,
the one that can make me overflow.



tucked in mid-air


how do they come to the
come to the
come to the God
come to the still waters,
and not love the one who came there with them...
~sharon olds, "sex without love"

our eyes moved in hunger, and it was not to fill the emptiness that sat in our guts. you were spontaneity and you attracted me completely.

so that was how it felt like to surrender to fate, letting myself get lulled by beer and your voice talking of your escape from home. you see, i am the world's sadness collector and nobody is there to collect my stories when its time for me to share. this is the comfort i found in strangers. i can let myself overflow.

...and so we shared the nights flying like airplanes, floating in smoke then plummeting to the ground, faster and faster, till we reached the center of the universe. the mornings were lazy as you whispered your silent wishes to god in my ear, your lips tenderly brushing my skin. i've never wanted to stay in bed so badly. afternoons were just as slow as we made something else other than love. how is it that you were able to stop time?

even when we moved out of the mountains and found rest in the heart of manila, you found a way to drown street sounds with the sound of your heaving breath.

i've never seen unrest conquered so easily by sleep and silence.
you suspend me in mid-air...



i just realized...



i finally completed the 30-day project. i even went over 30 and posted an extra...
(wink wink, nudge nudge luanne!)

...so what am i to do next?

***long retarded sounds plus drooling***



07.09.09 (the road to el hemp-o part 3)


***last installment... hehe!***

woke up early to go to church because it's my lola's birthday. then vitaly and i had breakfast at bana's cafe and met with our guide robert and headed out to sumaging caves. it's also known as the big cave and one of the main tourist attractions in sagada.


the descent wasn't as scary as what other say, although i was told that i'd be reeking of bat piss and shit. but then again, what do we expect of caves right? as we went farther and deeper into the cave, we saw the magnificent display of stalactites and stalagmites.


getting out was harder. again, my choice of footwear was not good and i kept on slipping on the sides of everything i step on to. i enjoyed the short ride halfway back to the town. i rode on top of the jeep, which was pretty daredevilish of me...


next, we headed out to bokong falls. it was a 30-minute trek across rice fields. i wasn't supposed to take a dip but i'm such a gullible person and was talked into it after 2 minutes of convincing.


i thought i tire easily of things but i found out that buttered chicken is good the 4th... er, 5th time around. we had a late lunch at bana's and had lemon pie i bought from the lemon pie house. it was pretty good (memo to self: must take picture of everything to be an effective blogger or something). the rest of the afternoon was practically for slacking off and the night for beers.

the next day was spent in transit. the bus was fine although it was a bit cramped up for vitaly. it took 6 hours for us to get to baguio and the road wasn't as good.

now if there's a place i'd relocate, it's going to be in baguio... i always had a thing for it. i hate cold places but somehow, i enjoy it a lot. so anyway, the reason why i had to stop over baguio was to get milkshakes at 50's diner... so before going our separate ways, vitaly and i had late lunch and to cap my seriously kick ass vacation, i had two orders of chocolate milk shakes!

07.08.09 (the road to el hemp-o part 2)


***finally, after eons of slacking off...***

i woke up with a bad hangover... so i went to sleep again. then i woke up after a couple of hours and realized i was hungry. and so like what my schedule said, i had breakfast at the yogurt house. next stop was to make a reservation for the buffet dinner at the log cabin. vitaly said they serve mean dinners for the price of 350php. i went there to find out that he already made reservations. nice... but i paid...

after breakfast, i decided to go back to the church. unfortunately, it was closed. so i went to the market to look for the bookstore indicated on my map... i wasn't able to find it. but then again, i found shamrock cafe, the restaurant i was looking for the other night which was reportedly closed already. i had coffee and met vitaly to go to echo valley.


this time, i knew where to turn. after 15 minutes of hiking, we got to the view point. took pictures and spied on the hanging coffins.


it is said by our tour guide that they have been doing this tradition for more than 2,000 years. they arrange the bodies in fetal position to fit the small coffin so that they are brought back to mother earth the way they came here. the cave is the earth's womb and should should face east where the sun rises.


after echo valley, we headed out to bokong falls. unfortunately, it rained and we figured it's kind of retarded to go swimming when it's raining so we decided to head back and stay inside and read our respective books.

by nighttime, we were ready for the buffet. we purposefully did not eat anything after sharing one order of buttered chicken for lunch. the french chef who owns log cabin totally reinvented filipino food... the meal was very gooood! every peso was worth it.


the rest of the night was practically spent getting drunk and watching terminator. i would tell more about the movie but somewhere along the way, i got really really sleepy. so i slept...

***yeah yeah yeah... tomorrow... i promise...***

06.10.09 (the road to el hemp-o part 1)

...it really took me about two weeks before writing about the recent trip i made to sagada (i haven't even started with the semi-asian tour before this), mostly because i was overwhelmed with the experience, and as expected, too lazy to just blog. well, this is me, blogging... or something.

as i was saying, after enslaving myself for three days, i decided to reward myself. the morning i got back from the office, i packed my bags and kissed my miserable room goodbye.

my first stop... banaue! i seriously didn't know what to do when i got there. but luckily, tour guides were waiting at the drop off point in front of banaue hotel. anyways, i found myself a guide named darwin, hopped on his motorcycle and started exploring this sweet part of mountain province...


he took me to a lovely restaurant where i had breakfast, met rebekah who was also touring banaue and sagada with her friends that day, then headed out to poitan village which is one of the remaining traditional villages in the area.


next stop was several view points of the famous banaue rice terraces. it was bad timing though... it was drizzling and the fog really got in the way of my camera and the wonderful sight.


so i decided to move on with my life and go to bontoc. unfortunately, i had to wait for the blasted bus for 2 hours. not to mention that the trip took 2 hours on the roughest road you can imagine. one thing is for sure, bontoc had to be left out. it was a good thing we had a stop over to take some pictures of bontoc's version of rice terraces. instead of mud used in banaue, this part of the province used stones.


the trip from bontoc to banaue took another hour. it was raining and i still had to register at the municipal hall. the backpacking couple i was with went on with their way and vitaly, another backpacker i met going to sagada, and i went off to hunt for my hostel.

after check in, i just had to have my late lunch. i have been craving butter chicken for the longest time and according to my research, alfredo's serve them. it was good but it wasn't all i was hoping for. they cook it with ketchup and of course, lots of loathsome butter. still, it was better than any fried chicken i would normally have in manila.

according to my trusty map, sagada is a cute little place you can walk around... my schedule for the day is to go to some village but i decided to change it since echo valley seemed closer to where i was standing, which was outside alfredo's, so i decided to get myself lost.

portion of echo valley i saw when i got lost in the middle of sagada's parallel universe. the cow is somewhere there... there...

and lost i was... how should i know left from right??? i found myself standing on a vast expanse of greenness with a water buffalo eating away for like 20 minutes... had the wrong choice of footwear so my slippers got sucked by mud and so i had to walk barefoot... and totally freaked out by the possibility of death by snakes. i went back and spent the entire afternoon sitting in front of the church trying hard to get artistic shots with my blasted point-and-shoot camera.


because sagada enjoys an 8:30 pm to 4am curfew, i had to quickly drag myself back to the hostel to freshen up and go out again to have dinner... drink beer... alone... blech! on my way home, i saw vitaly who was just about to have his dinner. i got myself dragged to a quaint bar and had more beer. this time, i had someone to talk to... yey!

well, since the title suggested it... yes, before i ended the first night, i got to have what sagada is known for... coolness right? er, maybe not, but what else is there in this twisted world? at least i'm going green...

***to be continued... hehe!***


05.26.09 (fucking wasted)

yes, that's about it... i'm totally wasted. i'm pulling a double shift for two consecutive days, plus an additional 8 hours after doing 16 hours on wednesday... i'm seriously hoping i will still be alive and able to go on a roadtrip by thursday morning. i'm going to the boondocks as a treat for myself!

go to baguio and eat at the 50's diner...
go to sagada...
see the banaue rice terraces...
see the hanging coffins...
and probably muster all courage i have to take a dip inside the cave lagoons...

i'm keeping my fingers crossed.

***pictures ripped from this site and this site***


05.22.09 (tsoko.nut)

i can see that this is the most retarded entry i will ever make...

it's my first time at tsoko.nut! ciemps binili ko ung chocolate drink nila kasi dun sila sikat e...


natuwa naman ako, in fairness... actually, the thing that got me going with the group is the aligue pasta. tagal ko na kasi di nakakakain nun e. keri naman cia, pero mas masarap pa rin ung luto ko. ahem!


er, puro pinoy foods ang drama nila. prices are kind of ok, from 70pokels*** up for sandwiches, 99pokels up for pasta and rice meals and 60pokels up for beverages.




baka bumalik ako, pwede din naman hindi. pero malamang babalik ako. may gusto pa akong i-try na iba dun sa menu. ahehe!
um, yun lang... meme naku...

***pokels - currency ng mga beckies