i saw an apparition of you today...
*entry from the exhibit on lrt*
"the whole purpose of places like starbucks is for people with no decision making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. short, tall, dark, caf, decaf, low fat, non fat, etcetera. so people who don't know what they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95 get not only a cup of coffee, but an absolutely defining sense of self. tall... decaf... cappuccino!"
i am keeping myself empty
i bury boredom under sheets of paper,
if i can hold the years
i am trading empty bottles for a full heart,how do they come to the
come to the
come to the God
come to the still waters,
and not love the one who came there with them...
~sharon olds, "sex without love"
this is the new book i am reading courtesy of jeff. i read perhaps 20-30 pages a day, then my mind goes blank. it's not like i'm reading umberto eco and my mind shuts down because i cant make out his metaphors, but something like every character introduced gets summarily executed, or worse, tortured in various creative manners.
i finally got to watch x-men origins: wolverine. i liked the action part of it. the effects are totally awesome. but the story was quite boring. i'm not really an avid fan so i haven't read the comics yet but i think marvel could've done better. i especially cringed when logan found kayla dead and the camera zoomed out on him, with him holding the love of his life and screaming at the top of his lungs.
'nuf said...
i didn't actually hear the music nor the beautiful singing... i just knew it must've been something like the sound i hear when i feel the sunrise touch my face in the morning, or when i get soaked in the rain in the middle of summer..."When the lights went off the accompanist kissed her. Maybe he had been turning towards her just before it was completely dark, maybe he was lifting his hands. There must have been some movement, a gesture, because every person in the living room would later remember a kiss. They did not see a kiss, that would have been impossible. The darkness that came on them was startling and complete. Not only was everyone there certain of a kiss, they claimed they could identify the type of kiss: it was strong and passionate, and it took her by surprise. They were all looking right at her when the lights went out. They were still applauding, each on his or her feet, still in the fullest throes of hands slapping together, elbows up. Not one person had come anywhere close to tiring. The Italians and the French were yelling, "Brava! Brava!" and the Japanese turned away from them. Would he have kissed her like that had the room been lit? Was his mind so full of her that in the very instant of darkness he reached for her, did he think so quickly? Or was it that they wanted her too, all of the men and women in the room, and so they imagined it collectively. They were so taken by the beauty of her voice that they wanted to cover her mouth with their mouth, drink in. Maybe music could be transferred, devoured, owned. What would it mean to kiss the lips that had held such a sound?"
"the tormented heart doesn't just find happiness, it becomes happiness".¬umeed merchant. "the ground beneath her feet" by salman rushdie
***saw my college friends yesterday and for some reason we were reading each other children's books. ardee read us this... it made me cringe... now i feel like crap...***
Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney
Little Nutbrown Hare, who was going to bed, held on tight to Big Nutbrown Hare's very long ears. He wanted to be sure that Big Nutbrown Hare was listening.
"Guess how much I love you," he said.
"Oh, I don't think I could guess that," said Big Nutbrown Hare.
"This much," said Little Nutbrown Hare, stretching out his arms as wide as they could go.
Big Nutbrown Hare had even longer arms. "But I love YOU this much," he said.
Hmm, that is a lot, thought Little Nutbrown Hare.
"I love you as high as I can reach." said Little Nutbrown Hare.
"I love you as high as I can reach," said Big Nutbrown Hare.
That is quite high, thought Little Nutbrown Hare. I wish I had arms like that.
Then Little Nutbrown Hare had a good idea. He tumbled upside down and reached up the tree trunk with his feet.
"I love you all the way up to my toes!" he said.
"And I love you all the way up to your toes," said Big Nutbrown Hare, swinging him up over his head.
"I love you as high as I can HOP!" laughed Little Nutbrown Hare, bouncing up and down.
"But I love you as high as I can hop," smiled Big Nutbrown Hare - and he hopped so high that his ears touched the branches above.
That's good hopping, thought Little Nutbrown Hare. I wish I could hop like that.
"I love you all the way down the lane as far as the river," cried Little Nutbrown Hare.
"I love you across the river and over the hills," said Big Nutbrown Hare.
That's very far, thought Little Nutbrown Hare. He was almost too sleepy to think any more. Then he looked beyond the thorn bushes, out into the big dark night. Nothing could be further than the sky.
"I love you right up to the MOON," he said, and closed his eyes.
"Oh, that's far," said Big Nutbrown Hare. "That is very, very far."
Big Nutbrown Hare settled Little Nutbrown Hare into his bed of leaves. He leaned over and kissed him good night.
Then he lay down close by and whispered with a smile, "I love you right up to the moon - AND BACK."
Someone who hates scrabble.Someone who sleeps on her back near an open window in winter, her breath rolling like a river into night.
Someone who wants me to wake her in the morning by reading ee cummings' love poems, giving a small candle-flicker of a smile just before opening her eyes.
Someone who appreciates the architecture of churches, but refuses to step inside.
Someone who has hands fit to hold hurt sparrows and robins.
Someone who threw out an her Alice Cooper records when she found out he loves to golf.
Someone who would swerve a new car into the ditch to avoid a frog crossing the road.
Someone who would tattoo my name on her arm in writing the same colour as her skin, so it would appear slowly from nowhere when she suntanned, people thinking her blood was telling secrets to the world of its own accord.
Someone who learned Spanish to read Marquez, or Lorca, or Neruda.
Someone whose hips whisper their own stories of the serpent and the garden of Eden.
Someone who bites the back of my neck like a leopardess carrying her kitten to safety.
Someone who'll make me wait for her to come out of the shower.
Someone whose smallest movements amaze me: her hair falling over her eyes, the soft swell of her hips when she ties down, a deep sigh when she sleeps.
Someone who maps every ticklish part of my body and then uses her knowledge strictly for evil.
Someone who paints our bodies black and makes love with me under the stars.
Someone who burns through my chest like that first shot of scotch.
Someone whose tongue, if we're kept apart too long, would nervously trace my face into the roof of her mouth.
Someone who practises her signature with her wrong hand, in case of accidents or a sudden arrest.
Someone whose fingrnails smell faintly of her hair.
Someone who reminds me of the soft tickle of fog.
Someone who would rush outside in the middle of the night, setting a spider onto the lawn, never admitting it's because she hates rain.
Someone who understands the unforgivable importance of ravens.
Someone wholl flicker into my lips with the ferocity of a dragonfly.
Someone who will open, thick, pungent and vital, like a Mapplethorpe flower.
Someone who has searched for me like a near-sighted woman groping for her glasses, stubbing her toes and swearing in Yiddish.
Someone who would understand why Steve and Dave and Paul and I sat in a bar staring at the mirror behind us for twenty minutes because somebody had asked what would happen if you looked at yourself in a mirror using a pair of binoculars until we had to admit the question was too big for us, and we turned back to the safe optics of the beer bottle.
Someone who would just happen to cut my wrist shortly after reading Ondaatje's "The Time Around Scars. "
Someone who'll stare softly but straight at me, smiling reassuringly when I tell her how my 73 year old Medieval lit prof looked up from Chaucer, stared blankly over the class's heads and said that even the happiest marriage will end in death.
Someone who understands the efficiency inherent in suicide.
Someone who knows that love can be the thickest slice of hell we’ll ever taste.
Someone who would dance with me by the sides of highways.
~andy weaver
hoping to find love like this soon...
