04.20.09 (stuck in a moment)

secret of the day...

it may be the beer last night or i've been over analyzing my state for the longest time. i feel stuck... no drive, no passion for anything. it feels like i'm just going through the motions of everyday life like a tormented rodent running endlessly in a hamster wheel. i'm sick of it, and perhaps scared. i'm at this age when i'm supposed to be in control of my life, but i'm not. i feel like i need to escape something, i don't know what it is. and i need to find something, i don't know what that is either... i used to know a sign when i see one, i think i may have lost that sensitivity.

soulsearching... i need to get hold of my old self...

in the meantime, i'll watch dexter kill bad bad people. it might help me feel better...


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